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# 5 things I refuse to do
- URL: https://www.ridiculouslyefficient.com/5-things-i-refuse-to-do/
- Published: 2026-01-16T16:15:13.000Z
- Updated: 2026-03-18T22:15:10.000Z
- Description: as a mom who got tired of losing herself
- Author: Marissa Brassfield
- Tags: Nervous System Leadership, Ambitious Motherhood, Simplicity & Elimination

I was running on fumes… I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like myself.   
And it was starting to feel permanent. 

So I started questioning everything…   
→ Why was I doing things the way I was doing them? (This is how my [parents](https://www.ridiculouslyefficient.com/halt-method-work-life-balance/) did it… that was decades ago…)  
→ Where did I learn this belief that I had to earn rest? (I’m not even sure, everyone believes it…)  
→ What is pushing through getting me? (nothing good…)  
→ What would it be like if… 

Honestly, there are plenty of rules I changed for myself… But here are 5 truly impactful things I [refuse to](https://www.ridiculouslyefficient.com/how-gordon-ramsay-manages-15-hour-days/) do now, as a mom who got tired of feeling tired. 

→ Say yes just because I'm capable. Being able to do something stopped being a good enough reason to take it on. Now I ask: does this give me energy or take it?

→ Earn my rest. I used to wait until everything was done. Everything is never done. Now rest goes on the calendar first - before it gets squeezed out by everyone else's needs.

→ Answer every message immediately. My phone used to run my nervous system. Now I respond when I'm ready... not just because my phone pings.

→ Push through exhaustion like it's a badge of honor. There's no reward. It's just exhaustion. When I'm tired, I stop. (Groundbreaking, I know.)

→ Wait for permission to prioritize myself. I spent years waiting for someone to tell me it was okay to want more. To have a voice and take up space. No one was coming. It's up to me.

I didn't lose myself all at once.  
It happened slowly... one overcommitment, one skipped meal, one "I'm fine" at a time.

I found myself the same way.  
One small refusal at a time.

*This is what I mean by* [*strategic elimination*](https://www.ridiculouslyefficient.com/strategic-elimination-multiplication-by-subtraction/)*.*

I invite you to give it a try. 🙌🏼