You don't have to earn rest

The Simplicity Protocol Newsletter Issue 5

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For eight years, I lived inside a cycle: work intensely for months, then collapse.

The month before our big annual event descended into absolute chaos. Twelve-hour days. Adrenaline-fueled sprints. Everything operating at a pace that felt thrilling and unsustainable in equal measure. Then six weeks of closing books, reconciling vendors, finalizing budgets. Only then: a vacation.

By the later years, I was chugging Red Bulls during the most important moments of the year just to stay sharp. My body was screaming, and I kept answering with caffeine and willpower.

Something in me loved the intensity. I can turn it on at the last minute and deliver exceptional work. That pattern started in college, cramming all night, submitting papers minutes before they were due, always nailing the result.

The result made the pattern feel justified. And the justification always sounded the same: "I'll rest on the other side of this."

Finals week. Event season. Launch month. Bonus cycle. There was always another finish line to reach before rest was permitted.

I inherited this belief from both sides of my family and their relationships with work. My grandparents' generation. My parents'. The conditioning was ancient: you rest when you've earned it.

We pay for our decisions one way or another. Sometimes the currency is rest. Sometimes it's cash. The bill always comes due.

Looking back, our team could have been three times its size. We could have had a much better quality of life. Yes, it would have meant less in my bonus pool, but it also would have meant more peace and a body that didn't need manufactured energy to function. Every environment has its own culture. That one thrived on intensity, and I participated fully for years. It served me brilliantly until it didn't.

Last week I wrote about structuring days around energy instead of time. This week is the deeper question: what makes that energy possible in the first place?